Mario Kart A-Z
by Thegeniusyoshi
Summary: Funny Mario Kart related things from A to Z. Please help me come up with things for different letters!
1. A

A is for Acceleration:

Its a big day at Choco Mountain. Not only are they giving away free Choco Mountain chocolate, but there is also a race! But there is a problem.

Luigi: "How do I accelerate?"

(Awkward silence.)

Luigi: "Please tell me how to accelerate."

(Awkward silence.)

Luigi: "HOW DO I ACCELERATE?"

(Waluigi comes over and puts some tape on the words above a gas pedal.)

Waluigi: "Just look here."

(Waluigi points at a gas pedal.)

Luigi: "Gee, thanks!"

(Waluigi walks back to his kart.)

The words above the pedal read:

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Acceleration.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

(Note: The Xs are tape.)

Lakitu: "3, 2, 1, GO!"

Luigi floors he pedal, and in less than a second, he's off the mountain.

The tape peels off, and now the words read:

Experimental Ultra Light-speed Acceleration.

DO NOT PRESS UNTIL FURTHER EXPERIMENTATION!

Luigi: "Oh no."

The kart keeps going. In 2 seconds, its halfway around the world. In 4 seconds, its been around the world.

Lakitu: "Lap 2!"

Luigi goes around the world again.

Lakitu: "Final lap!"

Luigi goes around the world once more.

Lakitu: "LUIGI WINS!"

(Luigi's kart runs out of gas.)

Luigi: "What happened?"

Mario: "What do you mean 'What happened?'! You won the race!"

Waluigi: "WHAT!"

Luigi: "Thanks Waluigi!"


	2. B

B is for Backwards:

Toads factory is a highly sophisticated factory. It is always busy. Except for today, because a race is being held here. Everyone but Toad is facing the right way.

Toad: "Why is everyone facing backwards?"

Wario: "Becaue we want you to win!"

Toad: "Oh. Thanks!"

Lakitu: "3, 2, 1, GO!"

Everyone starts going, but Toad is going the wrong way!

Lakitu: "Turn around!"

Toad: "No way! Im winning!"

Toad keeps going backwards.

Toad: "One lap left!"

Lakitu: "Are you sure about that?"

Toad: "Yes Im sure!"

Toad does one more lap.

Toad: "I won!"

Lakitu: "No you didn't. You just went around the track backwards 3 times."

Toad: "WHAT?!"

Toad: "But Wario said I was going the right way!"

Lakitu: "He must have been lying."

Lakitu: "Here's a trophy for your effort."

Toad: "Thanks!"


	3. C

C is for Cheating:

Its a nice sunny day at Coconut Mall. The mall is the busiest mall in the Mushroom Kingdom. Except for today. Because today a race is being held here!

Wario: "{Thinking: Im going to win by cheating!}"

Lakitu: "3, 2, 1, GO!"

Wario starts out the race normally. But after the first escalator, he drives right through some cones sectioning off a prohibited area and into a shop where hundreds of spectators are watching.

All of the spectators: "HELP!"

Wario keeps on driving. He breaks the wall and drives out of the hole onto a parked car and destroys it.

Guy who owns the car: "MY CAR!"

Wario drives straight through lines of spectators to get to the finish.

Spectators: "HELP!"

Wario crosses the finish line with a time of 15 seconds.

Lakitu: "Lap 2! {Thinking: How did he finish a lap with a time of only 15 seconds!?}"

Wario keeps on driving. He goes back into the mall and drives straight through the same shop and onto the same car and through the same spectators.

Except this time he keeps throwing bob-ombs behind himself to go faster.

Everyone who was near Wario: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! BOB-OMBS!"

Wario finished this lap in 5 seconds.

Lakitu: "Lap 3! {Thinking: He mst be cheating. I should follow him.}"

Wario does the exact same thing as in lap 2, unaware that Lakitu is following him.

Except this time, instead of bob-ombs, he throws bananzi bills at everyone he sees.

Everyone except Wario and Lakitu: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! BANANZI BILLS!"

Wario finishes the last lap.

Wario: "I won! Now give me my trophy."

Lakitu: "You cheated. So you don't get anything."

Wario: "WHAT!?"

Lakitu: "And you have to pay for all the damage you did."


	4. D

D is for Drifting:

Yoshi falls is a nice, sunny, tourist-friendly place. The sun is always shining, the water is refreshing, and the view of the giant yoshi egg is just breathtaking. Today, Yoshi falls is also spectator-friendly. Because today a race is being held here.

Lakitu: "3, 2, 1, GO!"

Everyone drives forward. At the first turn, everyone drifts through it. Well, ALMOST everyone.

Daisy: "What are you all doing?"

Peach: "Drifting."

Daisy: "How do I do that?"

Peach: "Just jump and slide."

Daisy: "Ok. Thanks!"

Daisy jumps and slides... right into the giant yoshi egg.

CRACK!

The egg cracks. A giant yoshi comes out.

Giant yoshi: "Yoshi!"

Daisy: "Hi I'm Daisy!"

Daisy was drifting uncontrollably on the giant Yoshi's back.

The giant yoshi hops onto the track, and Daisy falls off.

Daisy: "HELP!"

CRASH!

Daisy falls right onto the finish line, still drifting.

Lakitu: "Lap 2!"

The giant Yoshi eats Daisy, then spits her back out, still drifting.

Lakitu: "Final lap!"

The kart stops drifting and starts zooming.

Daisy: "HELP! WHY AM I GOING SO FAST!"

Peach (Still on the first lap): "When you stop drifting, you get a speed boost. The size of the speed boost depends on how long you were drifting."

Daisy zooms back around to the finsh line.

Lakitu: "Daisy Wins!"

Daisy: "Yay!"


	5. E

E is for Engine:

Its daytime in Moo Moo Meadows. The sun is shining, the cows are mooing, and the race is starting.

Waluigi: "{Thinking: Hmm, I wonder if I put this Mach 6 jet engine in here, I would go faster. Well, only one way to find out!}"

Waluigi replaces the engine in his kart with the Mach 6 jet engine.

Lakitu: "3, 2, 1, GO!"

Waluigi starts his engine, and incinerates Dry Bones. He goes around the track in less than a second, incinerating the bleachers, half the grass, a sign that says: (Buy Luigi's Tires! Not Waluigi's tires!), and several Monty moles in the process.

Waluigi: "HELP!"

Lakitu: "Lap 2!"

Before that reaches Waluigi's ears, a loud BOOM emanates from the kart as the result of the sound barrier not being broken, but SHATTERED.

Lakitu: "Final Lap!"

Waluigi starts to feel compressed. Then he feels himself getting pushed inside the seat.

Lakitu: "Waluigi wins!"

Waluigi stops the engine and runs to Lakitu.

Waluigi: "Give me my trophy!"

Lakitu: "You didn't win the race. You won a competition for the fastest speed achieved with a kart that's held in Delfino Island."


	6. F

F is for Fire Flower

Its a nice, sunny day at Sweet, Sweet Canyon. The chocolate grass is brown, the doughnut caves are sparkling, the liquid sugar rivers are warm, and the racers are gunning their engines.

Bowser: "I'm gonna win this!"

Lakitu: "3, 2, 1, GO!"

Bowser drives straight through the first item box and gets a fire flower.

PWWET!

A fireball hits the chocolate grass and turns it into an ugly black smelly gas.

PWWET!

A fireball incinerates the doughnut caves.

PWWET!

A fireball makes the sugar river into a giant jawbreaker.

PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET! PWWET!

Bowser shoots fireballs a everyone and everything in sight.

Bowser: "I win! Now give me my trophy!"

Lakitu: "There is no trophy. You incinerated it."

Bowser: "WHAT!?"

Lakitu: "And you have to pay for all the destruction and medical bills."


	7. G

G is for Gravity:

It is a sunny day at Mushroom Gorge. This place is a popular tourist attraction. The mushrooms here are huge and bouncy, and you are allowed to bounce on them. Today, though, there isn't a tourist within miles, but the bleachers are filled with spectators for the upcoming race.

Lakitu: "3, 2, 1, GO!"

All 12 racers start driving. At the first turn after the gravity panel, only 11 racers seem to be racing. The 12th, Rosalina, is experimenting with the gravity panel.

Rosalina: "{Thinking: I wonder if I went over this panel 10 times, I would be floating in my kart above the track.}"

Rosalina drives over the gravity panel 10 times. Then her kart stars to go up.

Rosalina: "{Thinking: I knew it!}"

But the kart doesn't stop going up. It keeps going and going and going, until...

CRASH!

The kart (With Rosalina in it.) crashes into the roof of the cave. Then the kart starts to go out of control.

Rosalina: "HELP!"

The kart heads toward a green mushroom, bounces off towards a red one, finishes the first lap, and heads back towards the cave roof.

Lakitu: "Lap 2!"

The same thing happens again.

Lakitu: "Final lap!"

And again.

Except this time, instead of repeating the cycle, Rosalina falls out of her kart just after the finish line.

Rosalina: "HELP!"

Rosalina falls onto a red mushroom and bounces safely onto solid ground.

Rosalina: "What happened?"

Lakitu: "Daisy wins!"

Rosalina: "Yay!"


	8. H

H is for Hang Gliding:

It's always a relaxng and breathtaking view from rainbow road. It's a different perspective as you look down at the world below from a rainbow pathway. Or you sometimes fall off, lik som racers wil probably do today.

Lakitu shouted "3, 2, 1, GO!"

Everyone sped off the starting line and headed towards the first turn, and through the tunnel. Then they shot through the launh str towards the first glide panel. They all landed back on the road and continued. Except for one.

Yoshi missed the road by an inch as a result of Bowser pushing him, sending Yoshi into a spinning spiral crash course with the ground.

"HELP!" Yoshi screamed as he tried to steer owardsa launch star under the track.

He made it in then... went into another hanglider spiral under the finish line.

Laktu recorded lap after lap after lap as Yoshi sun ou of the finish line then back in then out then in and out and in.

In less than 30 seconds Yoshi had done 100 laps. in a minute he did 1000. Yoshi started feeling sick.

As Lakitu recorded with amazement, everyone seemed to forget about one thing: Yoshi was going to crash.

Lakitu dropped the trophy off the course, hitting the alredy sick Yoshi, increasing his speed and therefore howsick he felt.

At the last second before he landed Yoshi managed to regain control of his hang glider, only to crash into Cool, Cool, Mountain, landing on the spiky points of the star trophy. On the bright side, he won!


	9. I

I is for Items:


	10. J

J is for


End file.
